I've never felt dumber...
    - Friday, September 22, 2006

With so many people calling BIMBO, I have somehow sunk deeper into the role and felt utterly stupid and vulnerable in class today.

Meeting up with Yik the other day also kinda made things worse, of which Chris and Selena kept laughing at me when I told them my answer to Yik's question about what I learnt in my marketing course somemore..

I mean the meetup that night just made it clear to me that yik and his gf are such high achievers,super intelligent,street smart,exudes confidence etc etc etc..then when me and yik were in the car after sending chris back, it was like he asked me "So what you gonna do when u graduate? Since you are majoring in Psychology now, you gonna go overseas or something?" I hate these kinds of questions cos I always fail to give a reply that shows my direction in life..I always answer with "I don't know man..probably HR or pursue a diploma in counselling?"And each time my answer will somehow change with the different people who ask me the same old question. It's time for me to buck up and seriously think about my goal in life man!!

Back to my day..It was utterly horrible! It was a mind-boggling 3 hour Psychometrics lesson from 9am to 12 am this morning.The content just gets harder with each lesson leaving me confused and absolutely irritated with myself for not understanding it!And I met my friend Ying before the class today at a freaking early 8am to complete our psychometrics assignment which was due today..This is the only time I handed up an assignment which I felt so completely lost about. The assignment basically involves using the statistical software SPSS to produce results and then interpret those results.I really hate it!And it does not help that the weightage of each assignment is a freaking 15%.

Immediately after this class it was off to my Developmental Processes class from 12-3pm. I read my readings for that class but it didn't really help much cos at the end of it, I felt even more confused as well. We usually discuss a particular reading and then critique on it...It really forces us to not take knowledge for granted and to try and question it. I mean it's a good thing, but sometimes I would rather accept things as they are cos it's really tiring to analyze the journal article and pay attention to the details of the findings and method of carrying out the study...And readings just keep piling up..before I can understand this week's reading, I have in line another 3 readings for the next class...ARGH!!

I foresee that my mid-term break will be no break at all..cos one week later when school starts,I have a presentation on Tuesday, a Developmental Commentary paper due on Wednesday, a Counselling paper due on Thursday and a Psychometrics Quiz on Friday..WHAT THE HELL!I am just gonna spend the whole mid-term break mugging like mad la..with completely no life at all. The only comfort I have is I will be meeting TEAM B next thursday to spend a full day at JB, which means one less day to finish up my work...Enjoying really comes at a price at a crucial period like this...

But on a separate note...I had a good CG session again yesterday...We had a small activity where a pair of us would go around the school to say "Good evening" to a stranger, "Thank you" to a cleaner, SMS a person we know who is facing a problem and tell them that GOD loves them, open the door for a stranger and finally to pick up litter from the floor. It was a real meaningful exercise cos it made us realize that it is through our little actions that we can show our love for our neighbours..
I also got to develop deeper friendships with my CG mates like Rachel and Kelvin and I thank God for that...=)

raeanchiq penned her thoughts @ 11:05 PM